“If you’re going through hell, keep going.” – Winston Churchill
I’ve been meaning and wanting to write a post like this for awhile, and as I sip my peppermint tea along with listening to Solange’s “Cranes in the Sky”, I am more than ready to tell you all that I’m dealing with some real comparison issues. I’m at that point in my life where I question and compare myself to everything, which led me to take a much needed break from social media and people interaction altogether (Instagram, Facebook and Twitter), and plus I just got tired of seeing the same shit all the time (bad news posts, people arguing about this unbelievable election, and the latest diet tea trend). It’s just all been too much.
I’ve been personally struggling with my own issues in comparing my life with others, especially having full access to see what everyone’s status is with the internet. I’ve noticed myself thinking about how far I should be in life, and the fact that I’m not even close to any of those goals has been discouraging. And not to mention, seeing all these status updates about marriage proposals, new career moves, and the fact that people are just elevating in life, bothers me. I’m not upset that I see folks “glo-ing” up, but I’m more upset that the goals I set for myself have not come into fruition just yet…
I’m currently a jobless (and seeking), single, living-at-home-with-my-parents 24 year old, lol. Coming from living on my own for about 3 1/2 years, to sucking up my pride and asking my parents if I can move back in, was hard for me. Can I just say that I am completely humbled by this whole situation?! On the other hand though, I have been comparing how my life is now to others and it hasn’t helped me grow in the direction that I need and want to go into. I eventually want a great career that I look forward to working in everyday, I want to be in a healthy relationship with a guy that I can see myself having a family with and I want to be more confident in the decisions that I make in life, not question everything.
For a long time, I have always felt that I lagged behind in life, so it’s taking me some time to undo these unhealthy habits. With the time that I’ve had to just sit around and think, I have become more grateful for everything that’s around me. Especially having a home to come back to in the first place, and to a family who supports me. Hearing their encouraging words, and those life lessons I thought would not apply to me, is what keeps me going and wanting to live with more intention.
As much as it’s great to have all the money, nice things, a great job, a relationship, etc. I also understand that it’s ok to not have all those things, because I’m probably not prepared for them, especially all at once. I’m not saying that I have completely stopped comparing, but I stop myself when I feel like I’m getting sad about my life. I try to remind myself that this situation is temporary and that whatever is for me, will come at the right time. This extra time that I have off, has allowed me to take better care of my health, I’ve joined a gym and workout about 3-4 times a week. As well I make it a point to write in my journal more so that I can track how my life is going and write out my feelings.
This whole finding yourself, and your purpose in life is not easy but it’s something to admire and embrace. I am learning that I need to focus on what’s going on with me before I think about how someone else’s life is going. We truly never know what someone has gone or is going through to get to “that” point in their life, so what is the point in feeling sorry for yourself?
I hope you all found something positive out of this post, as I have. I’m definitely aware that I am on a constant journey of learning, healing and growing. Some of this shit I’m going through sucks, but I can get through it. We can get through it.
Thanks for reading!